The first thing you’d need to know is that Anger is a natural emotion. It is normal to feel angry. It is what we do after getting angry that makes anger a bad thing or a good thing. For example, if you fail an exam you should have passed it makes you angry enough to go and read up on the paper so that you don’t fail again.
So then, how do I control myself from doing negative things when I’m angry?
- Acknowledge that you are angry. Don’t deny it or shrug it off. You can even say it out loud “I am angry about this! Now what am I going to do?” This causes you to be aware of your emotions and also lets you know that you’re in charge of your actions.
- Refuse to take the action you would usually take when you’re angry. Do you shout when angry? Or you throw stuff around? Do you withdraw and stay silent? One thing you could do is ask yourself “How will this action benefit me or the other person(s) involved?” Waiting for some time before you act, can help you avoid both saying and doing things you may not mean and later will regret.
- Locate the focus of your anger. What words or actions by the other person have made you angry? Have I been truly wronged or I’m just choosing to be angry? Then determine how serious the offense is. Some wrongs are minor and some are major. Knowing its seriousness should affect your response.
- Take constructive action. If you choose to “let the offense go,” then, in prayer, confess your anger and your willingness to turn the person over to God. Then release your anger to Him. If you choose to confront the person who has wronged you, do so gently. Listen to any explanation; it can give you a different perspective on the person’s actions and intentions. If the person admits that what he or she did was wrong and asks you to forgive, do so.
I hope this helped?